


For Your Eyes Only

by a_static_world



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Confessions, Emotions, For Your Eyes Only, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Song: If I Could Fly (One Direction), They Have Them, They're just babies, kind of, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_static_world/pseuds/a_static_world
Summary: It wasn’t affectionate, this thing they had.But sometimes Arthur just needed to be held.
Relationships: Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 263





	For Your Eyes Only

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anoddconstellationofthoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoddconstellationofthoughts/gifts).



> I have finally taken the plunge into Merlin, only 8 years late. Enjoy!

It wasn’t...affectionate, this thing they had. It wasn’t lovey-dovey or over-the-top or proud. You could see it, if you cared to look, in the way Merlin smiled when Arthur was around, and the way Arthur’s eyes didn’t leave Merlin until he left the room. It was quiet and simple and that was the way they liked it. 

This didn’t, however, stop Merlin from pacing a groove in Gaius’ floor every time Arthur rode away from him. Didn’t stop the clenching in his gut that he felt when Arthur was nervous. Didn’t stop Arthur from seeing Merlin’s face every time a sword got just a little too close for comfort. Didn’t stop Arthur from riding home ahead of his knights, telling them he was desperate for a bath-something offered to him at every village on their route home. 

It’s not easy, being halves of the same coin and having to be separated. 

Gwen noticed, of course, because when Merlin picked at his cuticles until they bled and Gaius didn’t stop him, well, then, it must mean  _ something _ . So she distracted him, bandaged his hands and picked herbs with him and polished Arthur’s buttons until they shone just to see him smile. She’d regale him with stories about her childhood: the time she nearly drowned learning to swim, the first time she burned herself on her father’s forge, the time her cat had kittens underneath her bed. And then there would be a clatter of hooves and mail in the courtyard and Merlin would be on his feet, just almost as fast as she heard it, and he’d spring down the corridor or through the fields, worry stamped on his face like it belonged there. She supposed it did, seeing as he almost thought it his duty to protect the prince, with little regard for himself or his own safety. She’d sigh, then, and follow him down, ready to collect whatever swords needed sharpening or mail needed repair. 

Merlin’s hands were bleeding again, but Merlin didn’t  _ care _ , because Arthur was back. It was rare he wasn’t allowed to go with them, but Gaius had been overwhelmed and demanded he stay and help and truly, who was Merlin to deny him a little extra work. So he’d bid Arthur goodbye and good luck a fortnight ago, and with no news since except for an occasional twinge in his stomach, he was more than a little antsy. He felt bad for leaving Gwen alone in the yarrow patch, but he knew she’d understand. So he raced into the courtyard, scanning the knights briefly before his eyes landed on an all-too-familiar back. 

“Arthur!”

But Arthur’s eyes were cold as they turned on him. There was blood on his cheek, leaking from a deep red gash that made Merlin’s breath stutter. He nodded curtly to the stableboy and strode towards Merlin, brushing past him with only “I require undressing.” and his cape swishing in his wake. The blood pooling in Merlin’s cuticles turned to ice as he hurried behind, stooping to pick up the gauntlets and helmet that clattered to the floor behind Arthur. 

The slamming of a door told him that this campaign would take more than a bath to wash off. 

So he knocked, not even waiting for the word before entering, stopping short as Arthur swore and tugged at the stubborn leather clasps of his armor. 

“Don’t just stand there,  _ Mer _ lin, get me out of this!”

And god, but Merlin loved the way Arthur said his name, even when he was angry and getting angrier by the second. 

“Yes, sire.” 

Like flipping a switch, Merlin felt Arthur deflate under his fingers. It was a cheap trick, he knew, but reminding Arthur of their stations when he was angry usually worked to guilt him into calming down. So Merlin said nothing more, letting the silence hang as he deftly unbuckled and removed Arthur’s plate and mail until he stood in his blouse and trousers, head hung low and hands loosely curled at his sides. Merlin turned to place the chainmail tunic on the table, catching sight of the blood drops on the floor.

“It didn’t go well. The people... There were  _ children _ , Merlin, trying to attack us, stop us from taking their parents. I couldn’t stop them. I- I didn’t  _ want _ to, but I had to. I had to-”

Arthur’s voice broke, and Merlin wheeled around in time to catch him as he hurtled towards the taller man. He was sobbing, now, gripping Merlin’s back like a drowning man clings to a buoy. 

“They were just  _ children _ and I tried to look away but my father was there, he was watching and I had- I had- I had to do it. Merlin,  _ hold me _ .”

Merlin was shushing gently, rocking them from side to side, feeling Arthur’s blood and tears soak into his tunic, but when Arthur said that, said  _ hold me _ like he was broken and sorely needed putting back together, he froze. He gently peeled back from Arthur, watching the other man’s tear-and-bloodstained face raise from his chest. 

“That cut, first.” Merlin said, gently as he could. Arthur only nodded and moved to sit on the bed, pulling his boots and shirt off to reveal bruises scattered on his chest. Merlin sucked in a breath, heart aching for how  _ broken  _ Arthur looked. He pressed a cloth to Arthur’s cheekbone, waiting for a wince that never came as Arthur’s flesh knit back together in a way that was all too familiar to them. Arthur looked up and met his eyes, finally,  _ finally _ . 

“Please, Merlin.”

Merlin couldn’t get out of his boots and shirt fast enough. He climbed on to the bed, carefully pulling Arthur down and into his chest, feeling the other man relax and settle into him. Merlin hauled the covers over them both, holding Arthur impossibly closer until their chests touched, breath mingling. He pressed a kiss into soft blond hair before settling down, intending, as usual, to wake up early enough to sleep an hour or two in his own quarters so that Gaius wouldn’t catch on. 

And if Gwen found them that way the next morning, she never told a soul. If she made just enough noise to wake Merlin and not Arthur, giving him enough time to race downstairs and toss and turn in his bed for thirty minutes before Gaius woke up, well, she’d never tell that, either. It was nearly too sweet to bear; tawny head and brunet so close together that they seemed to reflect, haggard faces smoothed by sleep and love. Because yes, Guinevere was sure as the day was long that these two loved each other. So she rattled the water bucket just a little on the doorframe, hearing the panic-rustling of Arthur’s sheets as she smiled to herself. 

_ Shit _ . Merlin was up, gauging the sun and twisting out of the bed as he felt Arthur’s hand wrap around his wrist. He turned and looked, the hollowness in Arthur’s eyes faded slightly as he gazed back. He tugged on Merlin’s wrist, pulling him down and kissing him, gentle-filthy like only Arthur knew how. Merlin pulled back, fake-grimacing as Arthur gave him a sleepy smile.    
“Ugh, morning breath. It’s already too late, I’ve got to go before Gaius gets suspicious, my bed hasn’t been slept in-”

Arthur cut Merlin off with another kiss, hand only tightening on his wrist. 

“All of this, all of  _ me _ , all I am is for your eyes only. The rest of them get a king, a knight, a leader. But you,” Arthur paused, eyes squeezing shut. 

“You get my heart.”

And oh, if Merlin didn’t love Arthur with every centimeter of his being before, he surely did now. 

“For your eyes only,” he breathed, tipping Arthur’s chin up with his free hand. 

“I give you my heart, for when you’re lonely and forget who you are. You know me. This is for your eyes only.”

Arthur only gazed at him, tears forming in his eyes. It was this small, secret part of him that only Merlin could reach. This vulnerability. 

But then Arthur was clearing his throat, releasing Merlin’s wrist and lying back against the pillows. 

“You had better get going. I’ll need my shirt cleaned, my armor polished, my horse curried.”   
Merlin only smiled as he made to leave.

“Oh, and Merlin?”

“Yes?”

“Put your shirt on. You’re distracting me.” 

Merlin flushed as he tugged his shirt over his head, still grinning as he strode down the corridors towards his quarters. Arthur was his. 

For his eyes only. 

**Author's Note:**

> i love them your honor  
> I started watching merlin (obviously) and I've just finished season one and. oh my god.  
> Also i thought i was So Clever for adding the thing where merlin uses their stations against Arthur to guilt him into calming down and it literally. happened in the next episode.  
> because all of merlin is a giant slash fic on Arthurian legend.  
> anyway, there will definitely be more merthur on the way. im currently entrenched in a sambucky piece that I don't know will ever see the light of day. please help me I cannot stop.  
> also im in a HUGE one direction rut right now. sue me   
> Again, love and apologies to anoddconstellationofthoughts for dealing with my bullshit and listening to me scream about merlin for the past week and a half <3


End file.
